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Do you have an opinion? Express it! => Funny Stuff! => Topic started by: George on February 24, 2009, 07:43:40 PM

Title: FW: Can't shop at WAL-MART any more.
Post by: George on February 24, 2009, 07:43:40 PM
 FW: Can't shop at WAL-MART any more.

 Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Wal-Mart,
 for my dogs Bubba and Annie.

 I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a
 dog. What did she think, that I had an elephant?

 Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I
 didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again,
 although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital
 last time.

 On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in
 an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my
 body and IVs in both arms.  I told her that it was essentially a
 perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets
 with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel
 hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going
 to try it again.

 (I have to mention here that practically everyone  in the line was
 enthralled with my story by now.)

 Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the
 dog food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in the
 middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.

 I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he
 was laughing so hard!

 WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore. ::)